Thursday, June 22, 2006

Politics: Kansas Follows Alice Down the Rabbit Hole Once Again

There was nothing so very remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so very much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!" (when she thought it over afterwards it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); but, when the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waistcoat-pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.

On Tuesday, November 08, 2005, The Kansas Board of education voted 6 to 4 in favor of following Alice down the rabbit hole, never once considering how in the world they were to get out again. With this vote, the Board elected to mandate that students consider the critical aspects of Charles Darwin's widely accepted theory of evolution in favor of such sound scientific principles as those defined in the widely worshipped "intelligent design," a philosophy suggesting that life is too complex for evolution to have occurred without the assistance from the Wizard of Oz. Years previously, this same group was calling "intelligent design" “Creation Science” and after being swatted for such a lame attempt to subject the Divine to mere science decided, like all right-wing ideologies do, to simple change the name of the offending concept.

The New Science Standards opine a "lack of adequate natural explanations for the genetic code," as well as the more perplexing picture of assigning gender to angels, as shortcomings in Darwin's theory."This is a great day for education. ... This absolutely teaches more about science," said Steve Abrams, the Republican board chairman who voted with the majority, overruling a 26-member science committee while ignoring the National Academy of Sciences and the National Science Teachers Association in passing the standards. These "questionable" scientific bodies were ignored in favor of the technical expertise of an insurance salesman, fry cook, and blind Pentecostal prophet.

Applying the time-tested method of changing the names and meanings of controversial issues, the Kansas Board elected to redefine science so that it is no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena. Scientists in Kansas may now consider of the effect of black cats, broken mirrors, and stepped on cracks in the development and adaptation of life. Supporters of the new standards said they will promote academic freedom. "It gets rid of a lot of dogma that's being taught in the classroom today," said board member John Bacon, an Olathe Republican.

Dogma indeed.

Ever the trend-setters, The Kansas Board of Education continues to be on the forefront of rapidly progressive thought.

The Kansas Board of Education? Where have we heard of them before?

Oliver L. Brown v. the Board of Education of Topeka (KS), 1954

Now that makes perfect sense.In a related news story, the University of Kansas mascot has been changed from Jayhawk to the Hayseed.

© Copyright, C. Michael Bailey, 2006